[ECM] JANUARY - Cinematic Orchestra lyrics

[wesavedeachother]

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it’s knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me…

Since waking up in Cork, Peter had done a lot of things he wasn’t proud of. The robbery, nearly killing a man just to watch him die...

And now leaving Caitlin in the middle of the night. It felt like the final nail in a coffin he’d never built. He’d crossed a line here, a line he couldn’t see or remember...a line that appeared the moment he opened the box.

Ricky hadn’t been lying...his whole identity was inside. Passport, license, credit cards, even pictures. He knew his name was Peter Petrelli. He was from New York, and he was planning a trip to Montreal...even had the ticket.

He also had friends...maybe family. There was a picture of him and a man he didn’t know...

He had a girlfriend named Rory. Or at least he did at one time.

There wasn’t anything remarkable about the strip of photo booth pictures in his wallet, except for the fact he was in them...with the girl. She was similar to Caitlin in her coloring, but where Cait was strong and earthy, the woman in the picture was a pixie...ethereal and delicate in her appeal.

He knew her name because it was written on the back of the strip...

Smile! -Love, Rory

He knew she was his girlfriend because they were kissing in two of the four photos...and it wasn’t platonic by any stretch of the imagination. He also had her business card...worn and weathered, with her home number scrawled on the back.

He didn’t remember her...she was as much a stranger to him as the man in the other picture. But since the moment he’d seen her photo...he’d been feeling things, gut instincts driving his every move in a way he couldn’t explain. It drove him to pull the picture out more than once, always when Caitlin wasn’t looking...

And it drove him to leave her behind in the dead of night after promising they would travel to Montreal together in the morning. This journey wasn’t hers to travel with him...it was for this other woman, and her alone. Rory...he saw a little of Cait in her, and vice versa. Was his previous attraction to her what drew him to Cait, a memory he wasn’t aware of having? Was Rory as strong, as gentle as Caitlin?

Standing in the airport terminal, staring at the photo strip again...Peter knew he felt something. What, he wasn’t entirely sure yet...but every time he pulled the pictures out, he felt more and more.

He was becoming more certain with every second that he was in love with this girl.

Finally pocketing the photos again, he turned on his heel and headed for a nearby phone booth. Pulling out the calling card he’d finally forced himself to buy about ten minutes before, he flipped his wallet to the insert holding Rory’s card, settling on the cell number listed...it was as safe a bet as any.

Following the instructions, Peter dialed the calling card number, the code, then Rory’s phone number.

And waited anxiously as the phone began to ring.

Muse: Peter Petrelli
Fandom: HEROES
Words: 528

Comments

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

She was packing when the phone rang--wrapping up all of her memories, all of her books, all of her pretty things in bubble wrap and tissue paper, putting her whole life in New York into neat little Sharpie-labeled boxes.

Rory almost didn't bother to answer it. Phone calls used to bring a surge of hope with every trill, but somewhere along the way, she'd given up on hope and started down the very bleak path of acceptance. Then she remembered her new boss had mentioned that he might call, and she figured it might be a bad idea to blow him off before she even really started to work for him, so she answered the phone on the forth ring, her voice a little breathless and preoccupied. "Hello?"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

Peter wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when the phone picked up on the other end...but he hadn't anticipated feeling what he did when he heard that light, breathless female voice on the other end. His chest tightened with something like anticipation...anticipation, hope, and a joy he couldn't explain.

It took him three or four tries to get his voice to work, absently rubbing a hand over his close-cropped hair as he tried to steady himself. He didn't know this woman, didn't know how she'd react to hearing from him. What they might have been together...it didn't mean that they still meant anything to each other.

But with the way he felt right now...he wasn't too sure about that.

"I...uh...I'm not sure I still have the right number." he finally managed to get out. "I'm looking for Rory Gilmore?"

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Her body went numb, nerveless fingers nearly dropped the phone, but instinct made her hold it tighter even as she sank to the floor. He sounded nervous, unsure, asking for her like he didn't know this was her number...but the voice. Peter's voice, saying her name...

"...Peter?" she replied shakily. "Oh God--is it really you?"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

She knew him...she knew him, and she sounded as stunned as he'd felt the first time he'd used his powers just a week or two before. Maybe there was still something between them...maybe there was a chance she could help.

"Yeah...yeah, it's me." he replied, letting out a breath as he leaned against the side of the phone booth. "I, uh...it's me, Rory."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Her fingers tightened so hard around the phone that her knuckles were aching in protest, but she couldn't make herself let go...the phone was a lifeline, straight to Peter, the first connection she'd had in months. "Where are you?" she asked, scrambling to her feet. "Peter...oh my God, where have you been?"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

The desperation and excitement in her voice was more than a little contagious, and for the first time Peter found himself more than driven to go to New York...he was actually looking forward to it, just a little.

"Ireland...I'm in Cork, Ireland." he replied after a moment, shoving his free hand into his pocket as he bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. "But I'm at the airport...I'm coming back to New York right now."

He paused, swallowing hard as he stared at his feet. He didn't know what she knew about who he was...how he'd gotten there, who he'd been before he woke up chained to a shipping container. He didn't know what she knew about him at all...didn't know if she had any idea that his head was a big, empty pit of nothing.

"Rory..." he began slowly, shifting to lean back against the wall of the phone booth, "I...can you meet me at the airport? I should be in tomorrow afternoon, I think...or something, I'm not sure how the time difference works...but we need to talk. About...a lot. And we need to talk before I can tell you anything about what's happened to me."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Ireland. How in the name of heaven had he ended up in Ireland? "Peter," Rory protested, afraid that he was about to hang up. "Don't--don't hang up, please don't hang up--I know you probably can't talk long, but after you send me away and disappear for months I think at the very least you owe me at least a little explanation--I know what you were doing was important, but I thought you were dead--" Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath to steady herself. "--Why haven't you called me? Why didn't you tell me you were okay?"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

That caught Peter off guard. Blinking, he opened his mouth to ask for confirmation...then closed it. He couldn't ask...not yet. He needed to connect the things he was feeling to the woman on the other end of the line...the woman with answers.

The woman he'd sent away, when he could feel on some level he couldn't explain...being away from her was painful.

"I physically couldn't call until now." he replied honestly, shutting his eyes. "And...I want to tell you. I wish to God that I could. But I can't...not like this. There's things you need to know, Rory...things we both need to know. But they're not things we should say over the phone."

He paused, taking a deep, steadying breath. "Just be at JFK tomorrow...I'll tell you everything then. Everything that I can."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

"I don't--I don't understand," Rory replied, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Why can't you tell anything? Peter...I can't get a straight answer out of Nathan, he's a *wreck,* your mother keeps telling me it's hopeless...and now you're being secretive all of the sudden? *Why?*"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

"Rory, I just need you to trust me." he replied, shutting his eyes and hating himself for not being able to give her what she needed. Right now, she needed someone to turn to...the man he'd been before.

If only he knew who that man was...

Biting the bullet, he took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"Meet me at the airport." he whispered. "You'll have your answers in about fourteen hours."

With that, he simply hung up the phone, feeling as if he'd just severed an artery to life-giving answers that he so badly needed.

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

"But--Peter?" Someone could've shoved a very hard, very long and very dull object straight into her chest, and it wouldn't have hurt as badly as hearing that harsh, cold click on the other end of the line. Fourteen hours, it really may as well have been a goddamned eternity and what the *hell* was she supposed to do with herself until then when she was supposed to be moving to D.C...

Something was *wrong.* That hadn't even sounded like Peter...oh, the same voice, but the tone was so different, the warmth was missing...what in God's name had happened to him? Why hadn't he *called* her, told her where he was, let her know he was okay...

Why had he waited so long to come home to her?

=================================================

She didn't sleep at all that night...she'd tried, but her eyes just wouldn't close. Later the next day, loaded up on coffee and pacing restlessly with anticipation, she waited outside the gates of what she hoped to hell was the right flight, and she waited alone. Something had kept her from calling Nathan or Angela, kept her from calling the woman that had once been her mother but was now such a stranger to her...

For better or for worse, she'd known that she'd needed to meet Peter alone.

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

He was miserable waiting for the flight, and the trip itself was even worse...he didn't have a place to pace the way he wanted to, and sleep was impossible.

Oddly enough, when the stewardess offered him a cup of coffee and he took his first sip, though...it was strangely soothing. Comforting, even.

He still hadn't slept by the time they landed, but he was strangely alert as he disembarked with a small duffel bag...his carry on and everything he had in the world.

Walking through the boarding gate was a strangely surreal experience, because as he emerged into the terminal...he knew. He didn't know how...but he knew.

She was by the window off to one side, staring out at the plane, as if looking for something...looking for him, maybe?

Walking over, he took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"Rory?..."

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

He was miserable waiting for the flight, and the trip itself was even worse...he didn't have a place to pace the way he wanted to, and sleep was impossible.

Oddly enough, when the stewardess offered him a cup of coffee and he took his first sip, though...it was strangely soothing. Comforting, even.

He still hadn't slept by the time they landed, but he was strangely alert as he disembarked with a small duffel bag...his carry on and everything he had in the world.

Walking through the boarding gate was a strangely surreal experience, because as he emerged into the terminal...he knew. He didn't know how...but he knew.

She was by the window off to one side, staring out at the plane, as if looking for something...looking for him, maybe?

Walking over, he took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"Rory?..."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

She searched the faces in the crowd, waited and hoped that one would stand out for her, but as the number of people leaving the plane began to dwindle, Rory heaved a sigh and moved over to the window, rested her forehead against the glass and stared out at the plane. Damnit, damnit, this must be the wrong flight, and she'd be so damned sure it was the right one!

"Rory?..."

Rory jumped in surprise and turned, her chest suddenly tight and aching to the point where she could scarcely breathe. Her eyes met his and the rest of the room, the people, the bustle and the noise, all of it went away.

He'd cut his hair. That was the first thing she noticed, but his eyes were a close second. She couldn't be sure exactly how, but they were different: shadowed and hardened, older, sadder...

But it was still Peter standing in front of her. As her mother put it, the Petrelli Boy to her Gilmore Girl, as fate seemed to enjoy pushing their two families together. The boy she loved so much that losing him felt like everything good and light inside of her just...died.

"Peter," she managed to breathe as she moved towards him slowly, almost afraid to touch him, afraid he wouldn't be real..

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

She looked different from the picture...her eyes were shadowed and somehow, she seemed thinner...less pixie and more waif, with a darkness in her ice blue eyes that was heartbreaking to see. None of it seemed right...the slump to her shoulders, the weariness that clung to her like fresh rain.

But watching her move closer...close enough to touch...being near this woman was bringing something alive in him, something that he couldn't quite explain.

It felt like he'd been waiting his whole life to stand here in front of this woman again.

"Hi, Rory." he finally managed to greet her, shifting his duffel bag strap on his shoulder. It was lame...but there really wasn't much else to say.

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

She reached up slowly to touch his cheek with her fingertips...and he didn't disappear. He wasn't some cruel illusion, he was *real.*

Real enough for her to shove at angrily, which was exactly what she did next, as hard as she could--not very hard, given her how slender she was, but with more force than she looked to be capable of. Months of fear, anger, tears and pain came boiling violently to the surface in a red-hazed rush as she pounded clenched fists against his chest and shoulders before she dissolved into tears and quiet sobs of relief.

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

Peter was a little startled by the shove, but when he saw her eyes brimming with tears, he understood that she'd been suffering. More than that, he understood one thing about Rory without needing to remember a thing about the woman in front of him.

She was in love with him.

Catching her easily as she flung herself at him, beating her fists against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her as she dissolved into tears, holding her close as she wept against him.

Shutting his eyes, he tried hard to remember...to feel something more that could tell him about what he'd had with her...what she'd been to him...

Pain lanced through his head, and with it came a flickering barrage of images...split-second, too quick to see much of anything, but *there.* Somewhere in the depths of his mind, they were there...and in the confusing array, he was sure he'd glimpsed Rory's face.

Tightening his hold on her a little, Peter reached up to stroke her hair, murmuring comforting nonsense in her ear as he gave her what support he could...stood with her and told her it was all okay as she rode out the storm of emotions within.

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Rory fisted her hands Peter's shirt and hid her face against his shoulder, her chest heaving with sobs she couldn't seem to contain. When she finally got control again, she felt light-headed, weak; the fear and uncertainty she'd been carrying for months had suddenly been lifted, and it was as though she had to re-learn how to stand without it. "You're really here," she whispered, pulling back just enough to look at him. "You're alive...you're okay..."

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

"Yeah...yeah, I am." he replied, his eyes intent on her face as she drew back to meet his gaze. She was entrancing to look at...so many different nuances to her face, her beauty...it was easy to see where he could have wanted her, loved her in another life.

"I'm...alive, anyway." he finally admitted. "Rory...God, I don't know how to tell you without hurting you more..."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Oh God...that couldn't possibly be good. "What?" she whispered, her eyes widening apprehensively. "What happened? What's wrong, Peter?"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

It took Peter three tries before he could make his voice work, seeing the expression on her face. "Rory...it's...I didn't want to tell you this over the phone because...it's a lot to take in."

Taking a deep breath, he sighed and shut his eyes. "The furthest I can remember back is waking up in chains in Cork, Ireland. Everything else is...nothing."

[nyvote-rgilmore.livejournal.com]

Rory stared at him for a moment, not immediately comprehending...or believing him once she did. "No," she replied, shaking her head. "You didn't--you called me. You can't actually mean you don't *remember* me. Nathan? Your mother? Claire? Sylar, the bomb, what you did, what happened--you can't tell me you don't *remember* all that!"

[its-myturn.livejournal.com]

The names echoed in his head, hollow and empty...no emotion, no memory attached to any of them. The bomb, though...the mention of a bomb was, aside from being shocking, enough to make him feel vaguely unsettled.

"I don't...I can't." he replied, shaking his head. "Rory, I found my wallet, and your card was inside." He paused, reaching into his pocket to pull it out and open it, showing her the business card he found. After a beat, he fished around in the billfold and pulled out the strip of photo booth pictures he'd found as well.

"I saw these...the name on the back." he explained quietly as he handed them to her so she could see. "I knew that...I knew I had to come to you when I saw them."